Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
