It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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