oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my shit smells like andre
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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