We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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