great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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