(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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