Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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