So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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