Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
