Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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