I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
