I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
