DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
