At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize