drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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