Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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