I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
