he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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