coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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