Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the day after is always just damage control
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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