Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
