Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
