What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
