My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
