She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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