i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
