why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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