grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
