I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
