so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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