I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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