Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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