you're like a bully in the Christmas story
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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