He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
