**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
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her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
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my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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