There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
