Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
