but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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