She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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