I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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