omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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