He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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