I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!