she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch