I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
my poor anus
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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