How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
