Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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