My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
