I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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