someone get that fucking seahorse.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
