sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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