I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We need to get me chipped asap
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
