I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
