one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
