Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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