There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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