Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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