btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
