do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
