the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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